I often like to make a joke to my Dad that he hasn’t got a full mop of hair on top of his head anymore. I remember him having very straight, short black hair when I was quite young and then as I grew older he started shaving it off. He now religiously shaves his head and I wonder what I might’ve done to take him from floppy locks to thinning on top/full-on slaphead status. Did he start tearing it out somewhere along the way or did the stresses of parenthood make it fall out instead?
I’m sure there’s all manner of creams and potions he could try to make it grow back, he could even try something fancy like Advanced Tricho Pigmentation Treatment for a more permanent solution but, in the spirit of humour, let’s take a look at some of the things that might’ve contributed…
(1) The time I covered my bedroom in sudocrem. That must’ve been fun…
(2) The time I puked all over his car when it had just been valeted.
(3) Giving the kitchen a ‘makeover’ with my finger paints.
(4) Having baby road rage in the back of the car and shouting ‘d**khead* at somebody who cut him up (wonder where I picked that up from?)
(5) Getting up before everyone else, going to the kitchen, opening the fridge and smothering myself and my surroundings in cold baked beans.
(6) Walking to school with my skirt tucked in to my knickers and nobody noticing until a passerby beeped her horn to let us know.
(7) Digging up all of his freshly planted flowers and veggies in the garden because I was pretending they were weeds.
(8) Hitting my poor Grandad on the foot really hard with my nurse’s hammer.
(9) Having a tantrum all the way from home to our holiday campsite (a journey that took over 4 hours, eek!)
(10) Getting tattoos and piercings! (as a teenager, I might add) #notimpressed
(11) Walking around with my pocket money/birthday funds in my hand instead of in my purse (ready to spend you see!) and losing it in one of the shops. We never found it unfortunately!
(12) Cutting through my uniform with scissors by accident on my first day of school.
(13) Hacking at my own fringe to give myself a new look and trying to convince my best friend to let me have a go at her hair as well.
(14) Going after my ball when it rolled in to a stream of busy traffic.
(15) Making disgusting concoctions in my pastry and cakes (think egg shells, mint sauce and other random mixtures) and forcing all of my family members to eat them.
(16) That year I spent convinced I was a real witch making potions in jars out of pasta shapes and food colourings.
(17) Going to somebody else’s birthday party and being convinced it was ‘MY birthday’ with ‘MY presents’ and at another party my friend and I decided we were going to eat so much we’d be sick.
(18) Stepping in to a puddle that was deceptively deep and went up to my middle. They had to buy me all new clothes!
(19) Trying to dress the cat up in fancy outfits.
(20) Making my parents get up and dance to EVERY song on holiday during the evening entertainment (to be fair, when we went to Ibiza I won them a bottle of wine so you win some, you lose some!) They must’ve been exhausted in the end…
(21) Stealing from shops when I was baby by grabbing things and popping them in the pram basket without them realising. My parents were mortified when they realised!
(22) When I used to eat cat/dog biscuits on a regular basis (a trait which I seem to have passed down to Lily – what is the fascination I wonder?)
What funny stories have you got from when your where a youngster or have your kiddos done anything hilarious/cringeworthy recently?
• This is a collaborative post •