I am a mum boss, did you know?
And by that, I don’t mean that I’m a mum who is bossy (although that can sometimes be true, but I have to be bossy because I’m sorry darling but apple pies and electricity sockets just aren’t a good combination!) but I am a mum who is juggling the equivalent of a full crockery set and aside from the tired eyes, boyfriend-specific short temper and questionable diet of coco pops and biscuits, I’ve got it down, I am slaying this nineteen-fifties wifey crapola (sort of) and bringing the whole darn thing in to the twenty-first century running my own little business (yes, I’m actually a company, go check…did you see? impressed much?)
I am never one to blow my own trumpet (ooh, feeling like one of the elves from ben and holly right now) but, like you, I am proud of what I’m doing in my life (or you bloody well should be, sort yourself out, take a look in the mirror, you got this!)
Despite that sneaky voice mouthing off in the back of my mind that I couldn’t possibly have ‘the best possible’ bond with Lily because I stopped breastfeeding too early, I can accept what I always knew. You, my naughty little insecurities, talk bullshizz because that bond is SO strong, unbelievably unbreakable and the fact that I even worried about that just shows how much I care and love my little picklepie. Yes, my baby had formula and yes, I do constantly beat myself up about the whole thing and wonder what our bond would be like if I’d of managed to keep going but the truth is that it’d be exactly the same as it is now. I have nothing to mourn, neither of us have lost out on anything and it’s just sanctimonious media hype that ever made me think that the way I fed my baby could so deeply impact our relationship. If you could see us together, I’m sure you would slap my stupid little face for putting myself through the unnecessary worry and pain because we are like two peas in a pod and I’m so glad that I can finally put these creeping insecurities to bed once and for all.
And my word, our gorgeous girl is so clever (I often feel the need to dumb this down but hey, it’s my blog and I’m having a ‘yay me’ moment and -1- I’m so bloody proud and -2- she deserves to be celebrated, I’m her mum and if I want to say she’s out-of-this-world awesome, then I will because that’s my right and it’s what she should – and will – hear from my mouth for the rest of her life).
I have lost count of the amount of people who question her age, marvel at the words and sentences that she comes out with and tell me just how beautiful she is.
Next thing – I’ve been making videos. You might have only caught one or two so far but there’s more ready to be published (both on my own YouTube channel and in other places, you’ll see!) and aside from the excitement of finally having the guts to get in front of the lens, my confidence is going up because whilst I know I have a weight loss journey to get behind (sorry coco pops!) I can see what others see, what you see, and I’m not as hideous as I’d always imagined. Who knew?
And on to another, I can’t remember the last time (recently, anyway) that my house was full-blown pigsty. Hurrah! I’m somehow managing to, more or less, keep on top of the necessities enough that I’m happy to invite people in rather than open the door a few inches and hiss at them.
Lastly, I’ve been hating on my blog recently. I’ve considering starting again, changing the name, giving it up completely, I’ve been round all of the houses and through all of the motions but I can say with completely certainty that it’s here to stay.
I work truly antisocial hours and I feel like I can never really stop or catch a break but don’t we all? Isn’t that motherhood? I am achieving so much, I am doing so much for my little family and I won’t have anyone tell me otherwise because I know that I’m trying my sodding best and, like my parents always told me and we will always tell Lily, that is what matters.
Despite inconsistency, content wobbles and periods of not much going on in blog-world (I needed to catch up on sleep, after a week or so of staying up mega late I usually end up crashing) my stats are still doing well and I’m getting lots of work and it’s all good. I just need to find my mojo and when I do it’s going to be totally groovy baby so yes, I think I will stick with the job that gives me free reign over what I do, when I do it and, for the most part, focuses on the same thing that I live for, that I myself focus on every single moment of the day and that I will always focus on and that’s Lily and our family life.
So, I feel like I’m definitely winning and whilst I have my ups and downs (moody, sad, crying downs) like we all do, I am a mum boss because I love my daughter, I’m doing what I can to make her life blooming amazing and I always will.
We all have different lives, jobs (whether you stay at home or ‘go out’ to work) and feelings. What I’m proud of is probably completely different to what you’re proud of (aside from your kiddos, we’re all proud of our amazing sproglets) but whatever you do, own it and stand proud.
Whatever we’re achieving separately and individually, we’re all winning at the one thing that really matters and that’s being a mum.
You’re a mum boss too, did you know?
Of course you did, because you’re doing what you can as well.
And no matter what anybody says or does, that’s all you can do and that’s more than enough.