My Non-Negotiables List

*Featured Post – #TheList Linky – February 26th 2016*

Have you seen this super-inspirational, mood-boosting post from Kate at Pouting in Heels?

As usual, Kate has dished out a whole heap of positivity in one her recent articles and urged us all to make our own ‘non-negotiables’ list (i.e. write down all of those things that you will not compromise on, whatever they may be, and stick to them!)

I’d highly recommend popping over to her blog as I promise you’ll come away wanting to grab a pen and make your own list (I’ll also be surprised if you haven’t bookmarked and subscribed…)

Anyway, that’s exactly what I did and here’s my list of things that I will make time for and will pull in to my life with two hands or push out with a kick and curt wave…

My Non-Negotiables List Have more ‘make-up’ and ‘good hair’ days than ‘no make-up’ and ‘drab hair’ days

I am so sick of catching sight of myself in mirrors and thinking ‘eeek, what a mess!’

I want to spend some time in the mornings making an effort with my hair, skin and make-up so I feel better and ready for the day ahead.

I’ve got a cupboard full of gorgeous goodies and I just don’t use them like I should.

I’ve really fallen out of the habit of looking after myself recently. Everything else just takes over. There’s always something more important that needs doing!

I know that I feel much more productive, composed and happy when I’ve taken the time to care for myself and like most of us, I enjoy using cosmetics and fancy creams etc. and the confidence boost that comes with it so why not eh?

Take at least one night a week ‘off’

It Is Not Selfish To Refill Your Own Cup

A night away from blogging and away from the housework. A night to just relax, perhaps have a pamper sesh or do something for myself.

As I look after Lily during the day, I do most of my blogging and freelance work in the evenings and I’m sure my poor boyfriend is starting to think that I’m surgically attached to my laptop!

Whether it’s sitting down with a warm cup of tea (or a glass of wine) and watching some TV together without the constant interruptions of my iPhone or, if we’re lucky enough to have a babysitter for the night, popping out to the cinema or for a meal we definitely need to make sure that we have some time ‘off’.

Don’t put myself down to stop others doing it for me

Does that make sense?

I had a really rubbish time at school and I think it’s something I’ve picked up from the situation I found myself in. It’s like some sort of weird defense mechanism!

It’s almost as if it cushioned the blow if I’d set myself up for the fall anyway.

Wooden Hearts

So, instead of highlighting my flaws to you and hoping you don’t add insult to injury I will just be myself and enjoy your company.

We’ve all got bits we don’t like about ourselves or things that aren’t ideal – no one of us is completely perfect in every way.

I won’t worry about what you’re thinking about me anymore or which of my many shortcomings you might shed some light on. If you feel the need to do that to somebody else, even if you try to make it seem unintentional, then I pity you and you’re not somebody I want to be around – kapeesh?

Don’t swear unless I absolutely need to

I’ve always had a hint of a potty mouth but nothing too much, just the odd word here and there when the situation deserved it.

I think when you’re growing up and you’re suddenly ‘allowed’ to curse then you can go a bit wild with it, throwing it in here, there and everywhere?

I wasn’t doing too badly until my last job where I sat in a small office opposite my boss. She swore constantly and I didn’t blame her, conveyancing is a swear-worthy profession and before I knew it I was as bad as she was!

Now we’ve had Lily I’m all about the ‘fudges’, ‘goodnesses’ and ‘drats’ so I may as well try and curb it all together (note to self: might need to make a swear box…)

Take Lily on a proper day out once a week

As Lily is starting to leave the baby world behind her *sobs* and we move towards toddlerhood, I want to start taking her on a ‘big day out’ once a week whether it be to the aquarium, beach or anywhere else a bit special.

Lily At The Aquarium

I’ve also pinched a couple of things from Kate’s list because they’re points I’ve been thinking about myself recently so here we go…

Keep my nails pretty and painted

Even if it’s just a lick of clear varnish!

I feel so much more girly and confident when my nails are looked after. I’ve been trying to set aside 10 minutes to do my nails since Lily was born and here I am, with a little lady who’s just celebrated her first birthday and they’re in a shoddy state having not even been filed let alone anything else 🙁

My lovely mum bought me some cute pastel shades a few weeks ago and I can’t wait to try them. I really must find the time this weekend so I can keep it up going forwards.

Buy fresh flowers every week

Last month I bought a small bunch of flowers for the first time in absolutely ages to brighten up my Valentine’s Day decorated glassware project and I happily scattered the jars around the house without a second thought.

I soon discovered the effect that beautiful, fresh flowers can have on a home and a person’s mood is astounding. Even the untidiest, nightmare-ish rooms can feel a million times better with some gorgeous flowers adorning a coffee table or perhaps a mantlepiece or windowsill.

Flowers In Vase

I am a little bit of a hippy in that I love anything to do with nature and I sometimes dream of living in a cottage on the edge of a forest with a water wheel and an apple tree so it’s no surprise that I feel uplifted when surrounded by pretty flowers.

We usually only buy flowers at special occasions but I’ve decided to make it a weekly thing. They don’t have to be expensive at all and even some daffodils from the garden would do!

Now I have an excuse to go around the charity shops again looking for pots, jugs and vases to put them in 😉

Read for at least 15 minutes every day

I used to be SUCH a bookworm when I was younger. I could pick up a book before bedtime, be glued to it all through the night and wake up in the morning having read every word.

It’s such a great feeling to be completely emersed in somebody else’s story, to let your mind imagine the settings and the characters and to find a book that you just don’t want to put down.

I miss that feeling and whether I’m snuggled up trying to wind down before bed or I manage to catch some time during the day cosied up with a brew in one of the big chairs in the living room, I will start reading again.

So, if you have any book recommendations please do let me know! 😉

Reading this, it might seem that I’m being a little bit selfish suddenly deciding to do all of these things but I’ve taken a well-needed step back and realised that I’ve got to find a balance, I have to do some things that are just for me even if it is just reading a book or spending some time looking after myself properly.

Have you made your list yet?

What are your ‘musts’ and ‘must nots’?

I’ve spoken to Kate and decided to start a tagging post with this so if you do get involved please make sure that you link back to Kate’s original post (most importantly) and also the person who tagged you.

To start off, I’d like to ask Laura at Wafflemama, Leanne at A Slice Of My Life Wales, Amy at Mr And Mrs T Plus Three, Hannah at Hi Baby and Laura at Mummy Lala whether they’d like to join in?



My Non-Negotiables List

Pin for later? 🙂

Mr and Mrs T Plus Three


  1. February 22, 2016 / 9:12 AM

    What a lovely idea and it’s something I’m definitely going to take part in. My list has already begun!

    I am also a complete potty-mouth and seriously need to stop swearing!!! I’m awful for it. I know it’s not big or clever but I can’t help myself sometimes.

    Laura x

    • February 28, 2016 / 12:19 AM

      Aw that’s fab, I can’t wait to read yours – please do tweet me when it’s published 🙂
      I know, it’s hard isn’t it? Sometimes a situation just calls for a good old sweary rant, haha!

  2. February 22, 2016 / 1:50 PM

    Love this idea! I am good at getting me time now but it does make you feel bad to start with. It makes you more relaxed which makes us better mummies so its all good!
    I’m totally with you on the saying something bad about yourself so others don’t have to. It’s a lot less painful if you say it yourself! I also curse like a sailor but I’m pretty good around the kids. I do drop a lot of F-bombs once they are asleep to get it out my system 🙂 thanks for the linking up and the tag too I can’t wait to give it a go !

    Laura wilson recently posted…Photography: Project 365 – Fifty-TwoMy Profile

    • February 28, 2016 / 12:21 AM

      I agree – I really do need some ‘me’ time so I can look after myself and be a better mummy to Lilypie 🙂 I will have to get over the whole ‘mummy guilt’ thing!

      Ah, I thought I was the only one who did that, it’s reassuring to know that I’m not! I really must stop, like I said, I don’t need to do that anymore…

      I read your list tonight, there’s some great ideas on there!

      Lucy Melissa Smith recently posted…Download Festival 2016: My Top 5 BandsMy Profile

  3. February 22, 2016 / 2:11 PM

    I could do with doing some of these too!! Definitely the swear jar and doing my nails great post #thelist xxx

  4. February 23, 2016 / 1:32 PM

    Thank you so much for sharing my post and – MORE IMPORTANTLY – for sharing your own! What a fantastic list of non-negotiables. I think they’re all amazing.

    For nails, I can def recommend Shellac or Gellish (you can pay to have them done or do them with a kit at home). Your manicure will last about 2 weeks and will be perfect, no chips, nothing! A must for busy, tired Mums.

    And as for books, where do I start?! So many but here’s a list of my favourite ever books, to date:

    Thanks again and best of luck with the wonderful list! (I’m thrilled!) x

    • February 23, 2016 / 1:42 PM

      Oh my goodness this has absolutely made my day! (You don’t know how much that means, I have been feeling so fed up since this morning!)

      My friend used to do my nails for me with Gellish but now we’ve moved I had no go-to girl, I shall have to find somebody new *sobs* but I agree – less hassle, stays nicer for longer and a chance for a girly half an hour 🙂

      I’ve just added Tiny Beautiful Things and Man’s Search for Meaning to my Amazon basket, excited to read them both – thanks so much for pointing me to your post for some well-needed inspiration.

      I loved your list, thanks so much for sharing and inspiring – as always! <3

      X x

  5. February 25, 2016 / 10:18 AM

    I love this and I loved Katie’s original and I have been thinking of writing my list since reading Katie’s post, so might tag myself! 🙂 Good luck huni. Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

    • February 25, 2016 / 10:19 AM

      She is so inspiring isn’t she? I’d love to see your list so I’ll keep an eye out for it 🙂 Thanks Aby xx

  6. March 4, 2016 / 9:23 PM

    I love this list! I should really wear make up more often but when it’s just me and the kids and the school run I can never be bothered! I also wish I did my nails more often. Reading 15 minutes a day is so achievable and it’s amazing how much you can actually read in 15 minutes x

    • March 5, 2016 / 6:49 PM

      Reading is the main one that I’m keen to keep up with, I miss it so much! I’ve seen that you’re reading the Harry Potters recently which has inspired me to re-start them again. Having trouble with #1 already though, it just seems so boring compared to the others! X

  7. April 3, 2016 / 9:06 PM

    This is a fab list, thank you for tagging me, I’ve finally responded, sorry for taking so ages. Maybe I should have put responding to tags faster as one of my things!
    Leanne Cornelius recently posted…My Non-Negotiables ListMy Profile

    • April 3, 2016 / 10:57 PM

      Ah bless you, no worries! I’ve just read your list and loved it, it was worth the wait 😉 X

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